Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Ladies - I am still available as a great last minute Christmas gift!
They say a woman’s work is never done. Maybe that’s why they get paid less.
If you see me drinking coffee from a to-go cup in public after 3 pm, that coffee is booze in disguise.
Things to do today.....pet all the spiders in my house at least twice with my shoe.
I`ve learned to take life as it comes...straight with no chaser.....
Homeless people should make more creative signs like "I bet you can`t hit me with a quarter...b!tch!"
When my kids grow up, I`m going to their house to break their stuff, eat all their food, make a huge mess, say I`m bored & then just leave!
Guys write songs about girls they love. Girls write songs about guys they have broken up with
As soon as I figure out who drank my 2 cases of beer, I`m gonna try to figure out why I`m so drunk.
Admit it, you have that one voice that you only use on animals and babies.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats
Today is a great day. The mailman just delivered me an Iron Maiden cassette, which finally fulfills my Columbia House commitment.
That awkward moment when the creepy guy in the white van doesn`t have candy...
Nothing says " My divorce didn`t go as planned " quite like the guy with grocery bags hanging on the sides of his bicycles handlebars
Marrying your high school sweetheart is like taking the banker`s first offer on Deal or No Deal.