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We`ve all been talking about your paranoia.
They say you have real problems if you hear disembodied voices; fortunately all my imaginary friends have bodies.
I need plastic surgery to fix whatever it is about my face that gives people the impression I want to hear about their relationship problems.
Recipes sound good until you realize that you don`t have $846 worth of spices in your house.
Sometimes I think "What would Dexter do"?
How will you survive a zombie apocalypse if you scream & run when you see a spider?
Haiku`s confuse me / Too often they make no sense / Hand me the pliers
Never believe a person who claims is telling the truth while holding a pack of beers in both their hands
I heard she was born naked!! That slut!
If you`re wondering why you`re single, date someone. You`ll remember
Velcro, what a rip-off!
Story of my life : 1. i wake up .... 2. i go to school.... 3. i see a girl .... 4. i run to her and kiss her.... Actually, the right order is 2,3,4,1 ..
I just broke a light bulb. Damn, is that 7 years of bad ideas.
My body is by no means a temple but it can be one heck of a amusement park ride...
Bran flakes. Helping pants fit better for over 100 years.