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With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine.
I do not like being told what to do unless I`m naked.
When one door closes and another one opens, your house is probably haunted.....
If intelligent people don’t start having babies as fast as the trash in “honey boo boo”, we’re headed for a very dumb future. Am I the only one that sees this?!
I`m just a man standing in front of a woman, who is standing in front of another man who is in front of another woman in line at Taco Bell.
I love you more each day as my other options diminish.
FUN THING TO WRITE ON A POST CARD: “Weather is great, having tons of fun! Are you still planning to murder your mailman?”
I need an emoticon that’s stabbing another emoticon in the eye with a pen while repeatedly punching it in its little emoticon balls.
I have an inferiority complex about my superiority complex. I know I`m better than you, but I feel really bad about it.
Thanks for posting another selfie. I completely forgot what you looked like 24 hours ago.
I went outside once. The graphics were amazing but the gameplay and storyline were TERRIBLE.
I took a sexual harassment course today, I think this is actually something I might be pretty good at
I`ve given up on giving up.
The good thing about listening to a new song is that it doesn’t remind you of anyone.
If I didn’t drink, how would my friends know I loved them at 2AM?