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A good husband is like a bra. He should be supportive and help support your burdens, but mostly he`s just there to touch your boobs.
Eggnog is perfect for when you feel like drinking a glass of pancake batter.
I`m not ignoring you, I am simply giving you time to reflect on what an idiot you are being.
At the end of the day, life should ask us, Do you want to save the changes?
How many Oreos is too many?...Is it 25?...I feel like it should be more than 25
Likes doing tokyo drifts with the shopping carts when I round the corner of each isle at Walmart.
The best curve on a woman is her smile :) ...Hahahaha lmao! No I`m kidding, it`s her boobs.
I was all ears until you said something that sounded like advice.
Doing some laundry and hot single socks in my dryer are looking for a mate.
If you pour two beers into one glass, it becomes just one beer.
On the 14th of December I`m going to call people and say "7 Days" then hang up...
I know what I`m getting for Christmas ... Fat. I`m getting fat.
I swear, if Facebook changes their layout one more time, Iām going to post a status update about it & then use their site as much as always.
I never think twice about helping others.In fact, I never think once about it.
I`ll be glad when it`s warm enough to pee outside