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The part of “no” that I don’t understand is the part where I don’t get what I want.
I see you`re busy. I`ll come back later and ruin your free time.
Since my girlfriend has gotten pregnant alot has changed... Like my name, address and telephone number.
If puppies could talk I would never even want to try and make human friends ever again.
It`s a recipe for disaster when your country has an obesity epidemic and a skinny jean fad.
Going to write hasbro a nasty letter!!! The monopoly get out of jail free card doesn`t work...since I`m texting you can you come bail me out?
The best part about going to Wal-Mart is having the book aisles all to yourself.
At this stage of my life, "Good in Bed" means not snoring or stealing the covers.
When I first went on the pill, I put on some weight. Which proved to be a very effective contraceptive.
I hope everyone takes my advice and never takes my advice.
Thanks to my mom, I put my name on all of my underwear so they`re easier to spot when I go through the bar`s lost and found box.
I just saw the neighbor`s kid trying to spray whipped cream on his cat. I`m thinking he overheard something last night in that house he wasn`t supposed to.
When non-smokers come to My house....I ask them to stand outside while I have a smoke
I eat my corn on the cob like an old-school typewriter. This is how the 80`s cartoons taught me to do it as a kid.
Yesterday I saw something that reminded me of you. I almost stepped in it!