Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I wasn`t even going for broke. But I got it!
I`m trying to save up enough money to one day afford to save up money.
Why does the need to pee intensify by million when you are trying to unlock the door to your house.
Would a transformer buy life insurance or car insurance?
Women have a lot more experience dealing with bloodstains than men. Men are convicted of murder a lot more than women. Coincidence?
Please, if I ever offend you, it’s because I meant to.
Sorry I can`t go out tonight, I can`t find anyone to cover my Facebook shift.
If I live to be 100, I`m gonna make up some fake reason why, just to mess with people. Like, I ate a pine cone, or drank olive oil every single day...
Help me Obi Won Bacardi, I`m sobering up.
Imagine taking your girlfriend to your friends house for the 1st time, and her phone automatically connects to his password protected wifi.
I`ve found the most effective way to get an attractive guy to fall for me is by simply using my charm... and then a stun gun.
Don’t believe everything you think.
If two wrongs don`t make a right, try three.
roses are red violets are blue da shit in my back yard looks jus like you
If cats could text you back, they wouldn`t.