Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I got drunk last night and watched the most hilarious television show for hours until I sobered up and realized it was just a mirror.
I’m gonna make this girl mine….. Right click, Save As….
Was sitting and doing nothing. Then I realized I could be sitting and doing nothing on Facebook. So here I am.
i dont normally have a cool facebook status, but when i do, an older relative spoils it with a lame comment.
Hell hath no fury like me when I’m slightly inconvenienced and hungry.
I`ve been building my own particle accelerator. Plan to create a boson particle. Explore the mysteries.....you know what? This is a lot of work. Think I`m just going to have a beer and play Call of Duty.
Too bad you can’t get abs from laughing at your own jokes, because I would have an 8 pack.
This headache feels like dumb people
Yes I walked away mid-conversation. You were boring me to death and my survival instincts kicked in.
I`m pretty sure by now “lazy” is just part of my personality description.
The problem with the general public is that it`s made of people.
Save water. Shower with me. ;)
They should open a bar and call it "The Gym" so I can be like those annoying people on Facebook who brag about going to the gym every day.
Money went much further in the 1980s when you could peel the price stickers off milk cartons and stick them on anything you needed
You would think a popular place like the Krusty Krab would have more than two employees.