Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I just did my budget for August. If I don`t buy food ... I won`t need toilet paper. I think I`m on to something here.
My tacos arrived with a fork on the plate. I can only guess it`s there to stab potential taco thieves.
If anyone asks, I`m drinking all this wine to collect corks for a pinterest project.
It`s so cold Miley Cyrus got her toungue stuck on her wrecking ball
Give a kid a Pop Tart and they eat for a day. Teach a kid how to make a Pop Tart and you sleep in all summer
Iām on that new diet where you eat everything and hope for a miracle!
A trail of clothes leading to my bedroom means that I dropped them on the way from the dryer
I never give money to bums because a.) They probably make more money than I do. b.) They work from home. c.) They get to drink on the job.
Why do we only crave what`s bad for us? Alcohol, deep fried food, sex with strangers. You never hear anyone say "I`d kill for some salad"
Inventor of camping: "Hey, let`s go pretend to be homeless."
Be thankful for Facebook, the way gas prices are headed we may never actually see each other again.
True self control is waiting until the movie starts to eat your popcorn.
when people fall in love they are called " love birds." when they fight they are called "angry birds."
I`m not naughty ... I`m mischievously creative
My friend is showing me her new vegan handbag. I know vegans can be annoying, but should we really be making accessories out of them?