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I like to dump Skittles in the toilet and then flush it because it looks like a little tiny NASCAR race.
For every bad idea you have, I’m always there to tell you…I’m in.
You can`t fix STUPID, but you can Numb it with a 2x4.
The United States is probably the only country in the world where people need energy drinks to sit in front of a computer all day.
My phone battery lasts longer than relationships these days
Oh you`re in the shower? Here`s the seven worst songs from your playlist. - shuffle mode
I just want you all to know, whatever problems you might be having, I`m here to `like` them.
My dentist said that bacon and soda works the same as toothpaste. Friends have said she meant baking soda....but I disagree. :)
"Does this dress make me look fat?"-- Now, what I SHOULD have said was, "No, dear! You are little black dress approved!" but what came out was, "When did your bum move to the front?"
Really disappointed to find out after laser eye surgery I am unable to burn down buildings
Do you have neighbors?.. Do you have extension cords?..... Are you paying too much for electricity?
Feeling a little sassy today...But then again, that`s everyday
I don`t hate you, but I hope you fall in love and get married.
Sorry I hung up on you, I didn`t mean to answer the call.
Living alone is pretty cool, I don`t even know if my bathroom door closes