Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
How is it possible that we have one hand that can do everything while the other hand is all, “I can’t even hold a pencil”?
I don`t like surprises so, I never open my Electric Bill or my Bank Statement.
At what point in potty training do you give the child a toy smartphone?
Every time you have McDonald’s as a kid, it’s a victory. Every time you have it as an adult, it’s a defeat.
I relate to Game of Thrones because much like my own life, I have no idea what’s going on and there’s a lot of wine drinking.
Did you ever notice how a woman’s “I’ll be ready in 5min” and a guys “I’ll be home in 5min” are one and the same?
i know how to shutup.I just don`t know when.
Okay im going to make myself a sandwich, and i better have some votes when i come back. -.-
I have decided to leave my past behind me.. so If I owe you money..I’m sorry. but I’ve moved on.
Of course you have a right to your own opinion. Just like I have a right to tell you to shove it up your a$$.
Apparently this dude at the mall was just tying his shoe and did NOT want to play leap frog. My bad, dude. My bad.
The problem with the girl of my dreams is that she’s never around when I’m awake.
Beer is the answer...but I can`t remember the question.
Nice try salad bars, there`s only one kinda bar I plan on attending.
I don`t let my friends do stupid things... ALONE