Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Vodka and denial are cheaper than therapy.
the jeremy kyle show, the only place you`ll see a six month old baby with more teeth than thier parents
Just checked my Farmville for the first time in 2 years... It`s now a Walmart.
Cops don’t like it when they tell you to put your hands up in the air...then you wave them like you just don’t care.
Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is that you`re ignorant and make bad decisions.
A few bad decisions really liven up a boring day.
If I look tired at the end of the day, it`s because I just spent eight solid hours looking busy.
An egg salad is really just a chicken salad that is really underdone.
I just wanted to send you a quick note letting you know that you`re in my inappropriate thoughts.
"There`s more than one way to skin a cat." -Chinese restaurant proverb
Just when you want to be a good person again , someone new to stalk shows up
You don`t know true competition until you`re one of the last two people in musical chairs.
Pizza: Round food, cut into triangles and put into a square box.
Trying to remain humble but I’m the most famous person in my living room right now.
Life seemed more interesting when everyone owned a flask.