Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
It`s pretty stupid the way mornings have to come every morning.
Everyone has fitness goals and I’m over here like, if I burn this many calories I can eat a whole pizza.
If that was me in the movie Taken, my dad would have missed the call and texted me 3 days later asking if I have a girlfriend yet.
"I have to go eat cake now", should be a perfectly valid reason for leaving a social occasion where cake has not been provided.
Guys write songs about girls they love. Girls write songs about guys they have broken up with
I am used but in good condition.
If you have trouble getting your children`s attention, just sit down and look comfortable.
I just got a paper cut opening a box of Pop Tarts. There will be no more fancy breakfasts around here.
If the plan is “drink beer now, figure out life later” then yes, everything is going according to plan.
A normal person is just someone you don`t know well enough yet.
When you are dead, you don’t know you are dead but other people do. The same applies when you are stupid.
I like to stand 20 ft in front of the Walmart greeter and greet people before he gets a chance.
The thinner the eyebrow, the crazier the woman.
Behind every successful status update, there is a Ctrl C & Ctrl V
My doctor said I need to workout with dumb-bells. Would any of you like to go jogging with me?