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When I`m bored, nobody texts me. But as soon as I`m busy, BAM! ... still nobody texts me.
Let´s drink tequila till you don´t remember what I suggest next..
If anyone could read my mind I`m pretty sure they`d be traumatized for life.
Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is that you`re ignorant and make bad decisions.
When I`m bored I like to call in sick to places I don`t work for. I`m getting written up at Home Depot
I got in touch with my feminine side today... I made myself a sandwich.
If I could keep it short, my life would be so much simpler.
Nothing good goes into a microwave at 2:00am.
I`ve just seen an advert in my local newspaper. ACCOUNTANT NEEDED! $35,000 - $40,000 So I called them up and said, "The answer is -$5,000."
Every snack you make, every meal you bake, every bite you take, I`ll be watching you. - Dog
I know u r but what am I ?
Just think how cold and snowy it would be WITHOUT global warming!
I just read that ciggarettes cause rectal cancer, I should me fine, I was going to put them in my mouth anyway..
People with no money sure do have a lot of pot.
Why is "Pissed" an expression of being upset? I`ve never been so mad that I pee`d myself.