Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
People that use statistics in everyday arguments are a$$holes 100% of the time.
I missed that one episode of The Walking Dead where they show us how the zombies keep everyone`s lawns so freshly mowed.
Oh, I thought you were talking about napping. In that case no, I`m not good in bed.
If the waitress in the One Bell Pub is reading this can we please have our pudding now, cheers
Artificial intelligence is a wonderful thing. I told my computer that today is my birthday, and it said that I needed an upgrade.
If your drug dealer is always on time he is a cop …
One day I hope to understand the phrase "more money, more problems"
You know you`re fat when you run out of breath eating.
“we should hang out soon” loosely translates to I’m doing everything in my power to end this stupid conversation.
A man who scratches his butt should not bite fingernails!
Dear vegetarians, thanks for saving all the good food for us.
i just fell off a 20ft ladder.. good thing I was on the first step.
The Swiss must’ve been pretty confident in their chances of victory if they included a corkscrew in their army knife.
Men use love to get sex. Women use sex to get love. I use coupons to get pizza.
When will they start calling marijuana dispenseries grass stations?