Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If Facebook was school I swear we would all have perfect attendance.
I need plastic surgery to fix whatever it is about my face that gives people the impression I want to hear about their relationship problems.
2 words, 1 finger.
There are two types of people in this world: people who pee in the shower and liars.
A person soon learns how little they know when a child begins to ask questions.
Dear God, thank you for all the animals, and plants, and insects, but were spiders really necessary?
FYI: You can`t beat rock-paper-scissors with yourself in the mirror.
If someone doesn`t return your texts, relax and remember they`re probably just busy not liking you.
Like a glow stick, sometimes we have to break before we shine.
What do we want? An end to auto-correct errors! When do we want it? Cow! Sow! Bow! Tow! Duck this...
In life, you only need two tools - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn`t move but should, use the WD-40. If it should not move and does, use the duct tape
Got a paper cut turning the pages in my self-defense book.
Some days you just can`t get home to your liquor fast enough
I wonder if these beers are performance enhancing. Iām feeling pretty awesome!!
I`d say go to hell, but I don`t want to see you again.