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You can`t choose your family but you can choose a hitman.
I`m a pretty law abiding citizen, but overweight and out of shape security guards really make me want to test their commitment to the job.
If you could have all of Bill Gates` money or world peace, what colour would your Lamborghini be?
Worries about the economy grow again after the world`s biggest yacht-selling company announce a drop in sails
I`m not shy. I`m just being quiet because I know that if I open my mouth to speak, a flow of never- ceasing, insulting comment directed at you will immediately spew from within me.
I hate it when I put on my apple bottom jeans and cannot find my boots with da fur!!
I`ve never been skydiving, but I`ve zoomed in on Google Earth really, really fast.
Bend over and take it like a taxpayer.
In space they just call it "Jam"
What do you mean I should be more productive? Do you think this cocktail made itself?
I was on the treadmill for 20 minutes this morning. Tomorrow I might even turn it on, but let’s not rush into things.
I bet you can`t keep the funny and not funny the same number.
Relationship Status: Very relieved socks can`t get pregnant.
Want to watch a nerd have a melt down? Tell him that you just bought an Android Ipad.
I don`t always do a lot, but I put a lot of thought into it.