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They call themselves independent women until furniture needs to be moved
I was so disturbed by hearing about all the people using marijuana today that I almost dropped my deep-fried Snickers bar into my 48oz Coke.
There are 3 levels of pain. 1. Pain 2. Excruciating pain 3. Stepping on a Lego
Having to share a room with your spouse is absolute nonsense. Even kids get their own rooms...
Psychology — Even trying to spell it correctly screws with your head.
One does not simply log out of their friend`s facebook account without making them gay.
The first step is admitting you’re a problem.
? Taken ? Single ? So sexy that they’re all scared to go out with me.
The first rule of the OCD Club is to have a second rule so there is an even number of rules.
Surveys say 1 out of every 2 people suck at math. It`s terrible that 80% of the population can`t even do the easiest calculations.
When I was a kid, I wanted to be a Pilot...but apparently I was too young.
In my defense Your Honor, I thought she had been stung by a jellyfish.
Why is it when you take a break from Facebook everyone assumes you`re happy and in love ... Maybe I was in jail.
This ad says: "3 out of 5 smokers die" Apparently the other 2 become immortal.
I sure could help a lot of needy people if I won the big Powerball draw. Mainly sales people needing a commission, but still...