Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Spread happiness by smiling at a stranger today...or flash them your boobs. Strangers love boobs!
Of course it`s you. If it was me I wouldn`t even bring it up.
Sometimes I get road rage standing in lines.
I never get nervous or embarrassed. That`s just some sh*t that sober people who leave the house have to worry about.
I think for Halloween I am going to go as Karma. Some of you should be worried.
I think today I`ll stalk my stalker, just to shake things up a little.
Why is it that when my wife refers to her friends as "girlfriends" its normal but when i call my male friends "boyfriends" i lose my friends?
All i wanna know is how this website knew my name is Guest?
Things you need to know about me: 1- I`m lazy 2- hmm, one is enough
About to check Facebook? Let me save you some time. One of your friends has updated their cover photo to a picture of the beach.
I`m going to start a band called "Free Beer" because when people see a sign that says "Free Beer Tomorrow at 9PM" everyone is going to be there.
I`m not worried about the zombie apocalypse that is coming. I`m worried about the fcuktard apocalypse that is here right now.
I wonder if strippers have nightmares about accidentally going to work fully clothed?
If you like to spoon, you`ll love to spatula. That`s where I flip you over to make certain you`re done properly on both sides.
They say 1 minute of kissing burns 26 calories. No wonder sluts are so damn skinny.