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I hate those idiots with those bright halogen lights that are blinding, at least they can see my one finger salute.
I just researched the medicinal name for Viagra..... MYCOXAPHAYLYN
I hear the Pink Panther song when I sneak down the hall for a midnight snack..
I like Tuesday, it rhymes with Boozeday...
Parenting tip: if you beat one child with the other child you can tell people they were just fighting. You`re welcome
I met this girl in a club last night, I think she’s a body builder. She just so happened to build hers using chips.
The recommended age to have a Ouija Board is 8+ years old. So, you need to be 21 years old to drink alcohol and 8 to summon the devil.
I now have permanent vision loss due to excessive eye-rolling at stupid idiots.
The guy who named the umbrella meant to call it a brella but he hesitated.
I hate it when people dont know the differece between Ur and U`r
There`s a time and a place for alcohol ... In my hand and now.
I try not to work that much. That way I make less mistakes.
"You`re so cute!" works as a response to anything my girl says 99% of the time when I`m not listening which is 99% of the time.
The more I know, the more I forget! The more I forget the less I know! The less I know, the less I forget! The less I forget, the more I know!!!
I don`t need WebMD to tell me what`s wrong with me, I have my mother.