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Why are people sad when potatoes can be cooked in like 200 ways?
My spirit animal is that chicken who keeps crossing the road for reasons no one can figure.
You guys know that there are things higher than kites, right?
I wish more people would give me the silent treatment.
Is everything expensive or am I just poor?
Anyone else find it odd that on Star Trek, when they say "to boldly go where no one has gone before", when they get there, they always meet someone?
I`m Not Single. I am romantically challenged
My lucks so bad if I bought a cemetery people would stop dying.
You’re lucky that I’m so terrified of prison.
75% of men kiss their wives good bye when leaving the house. 100% kiss their house good bye when leaving their wives.
If turning alcohol into bad decisions ever becomes an Olympic event, I`m bringin` home the Gold! USA! USA!
I`m a big advocate of the `You started it` method of defense in an argument.
I`m glad the Eclipse is over so I can go back to staring directly into the sun.
"That`s too much bacon." -Nobody ever
You ever notice “q”, “p”, “b” and “d” is the same letter but with a different angle.