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I`m allergic to stupidity ... which is why I break out in to sarcasm.
Sticks and stones may break my bones but words... words might hurt me deeply, causing great emotional, mental, and psychological damage leading toward a lowered self-esteem and irregular bowel movements.
Today I gave up procrastination for Lent.
Two interesting facts for you: 1) Some pine cones look like poop. 2) I`m never kicking anything wearing flip flops again.
If we can have HD video from Mars,,, then I should have 4 bars on my phone everywhere I go.
Mrs Bieber.... WHY U NO USE CONDOM?
This week’s weather forecast: Sweaty underboobs.
You should see the sh!t I don`t post.
Why is it that whenever I have to turn around in a strange driveway, I feel like they`re gonna come running out with pitchforks and torches?
"Sleeping on the couch" should be a relationship status on Facebook.
If ignorance is bliss then there`s a crap load of people in paradise
Every time I`m not with my kid and someone asks me "Where`s the baby?" I just yell "Oh crap!" and run in the direction I came from.
Robots can do anything we set their mind to
Intelligence is like underwear. It`s important that you have it but there`s no need to show it off.