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You guys ever trip out on the fact that Indian people eat Indian food for breakfast?
Having kids is like continually cleaning up after a huge party that you didn`t attend.
A broken clock is right twice a day. I guess what I am saying is, that a broken clock is right more than you.
I`m really good at using the turkey baster as a sword and getting drunk and not being invited to Thanksgiving anymore.
Parallel lines have so much in common, it`s a shame they`ll never meet
I hate when I text a girl "I love you" and she`s like "no you don`t." Like bitch, I just fapped to your profile picture, I think I`d know.
Fellas.....the girl on the flyer is never at the club
Don´t wait for the perfect moment. Take the moment and make it perfect.
Kid, I can take you out the same way I brought you into this world, by making it look like an accident.
If I had to describe myself with one word it would be "Doesn`t understand directions".
The first rule of the OCD Club is to have a second rule so there is an even number of rules.
How many decades of knowing someone before it`s rude to ask what their name is?
I don`t understand why people want a relationship when there`s pizza.
Check this one out.........1
Building the city on rock and roll was probably the wrong move from an engineering perspective.