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Stovetop Directions: 1.) Use microwave.
" I don`t watch much tv" proudly says a person who spend 8 hours a day on the internet.
I gave my boyfriend a glue stick instead of a Chapstick last weekend, and he`s still not talking to me!
Grandkids are basically puppies for old people.
Don`t worry about the grass on the other side. It`s not your grass.
Who needs the weather network when you have Facebook.
You haven`t truly made it on YouTube until someone recognizes you in the unemployment line and asks for your autograph.
Sometimes I`ll go out in public and socialize with people, those times are called alibis.
You fake your smile daily, then judge people for getting a fake tan.
If you smell Axe body spray on your lawyer,, you`re going to jail.
My 17yo pretends he doesn`t understand how the washer works when I ask him to do the laundry Congrats, you`re finally a man
There are plenty of fish in the sea, but I like women.
Eww!!! Beer does NOT taste good on Cocoa Puffs! ..I`m switching back to my Fruit Loops! ;)
If guns don’t kill people, but people kill people, then doesn’t that mean that toasters don’t toast toast, but instead toast toasts toast?
Alright, I give up! I`ve listened to the song like 50 times now, and I still don`t know what the fox is saying!