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Somehow I thought growing up would involve more than staring at my phone
Always crush and snort your first pill on the pharmacy counter to make sure they`re not passing you some fake sh!t.
I can`t believe it`s been a year since I didn`t become a better person....
I don’t need a reason to enjoy a little wine. All I need is a glass.
Relax, you’re not paranoid at all. Everyone is talking about you.
This by far is your most f*ck up idea ever ... I`ll be there in 10 minutes.
Debate?.....isn`t that what you use to catch "The Fish" ?
The smaller the town, the bigger the sex cult.
Of course size matters. No one wants a small pizza.
Let`s drink till this day makes some sort of sense.
I`ve found that nowadays most people don`t like holding hands in public. Especially if you don`t know them.
People would believe everything I say.. if it wasn`t for everything I say.
If your having a bad day, remember that somewhere on this big planet, someone just lost their straw in a capri sun!!
Which nipple does the red jumper cable go on?
They say children are a gift from god. I`m totally wide-open to regifting.