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The women at this gym act like nobody’s ever tried taking their measurements before.
The larger the implants, the more likely she’ll be confused by a push/pull door.
What do you call a dog with no hind legs? Dragon Balls.
We should bury everyone upside down so if they come back as zombies they’ll dig the wrong way.
Women can brutally and methodically destroy your life. But they let you see their tits along the way so it`s totally cool.
That`s a horrible idea ... What time?
I am, have to avoid the leg cramps during sex, years old.
I would’ve slept my way to the top years ago if it actually involved sleeping.
My boyfriend is being so nice to me since I showed him how easy it was to remove blood from carpeting...
1st thing I do after great sex! Turn the alarm clock off.........
I was jogging earlier and...LMAO, I`m sorry...I can`t start a status with such ridiculousness.
Likes doing tokyo drifts with the shopping carts when I round the corner of each isle at Walmart.
This fly in my car is going to be very disappointed when it ends up at Walmart.
Did you ever wonder why the cat was in the bag in the first place?
There are weight limits on car seats, airlines, skydiving, military, horseback riding, kayaks, and bikes……how is it there are no weight limit on high heels?