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If you think this status is funny someone you hate will step on a lego.
My life`s paradox: I love sleeping, but I never want to go to bed early.
This liquid diet crap is a scam. I`ve been drinking beer since last Tuesday and I`m still fat.
Got bored today so I dressed up in tan pants and a blue shirt then went into Best Buy and quit.
We should`ve let the guy who named oranges keep naming other stuff.
But what if bygones want to be something else? ;)
All I`m saying is why blame it on being lazy when you can blame it on being old...
Sometimes I get so mad at myself for being too lazy that I don`t even do anything about it.
I’m beginning to think that I buy bananas just to watch them die a slow death in my kitchen.
Just saw a commercial for weight gainer pills. Have the people with this "problem" not heard of pizza and alcohol?
Me blacking out when I`m drunk is God`s way of telling me that what I do when I drink is none of my business.
Dear Customer Service: First of all, you should know that I´m typing this with my middle finger.
I finally saw Kung Fu Panda. I`m certainly not an expert, but I thought the nunchuck scene looked kind of fake.
FYI: I`m never gonna tell the person I`m meeting up with that you said hi.
Wonder what my couch is doing right now.