Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I don`t know how many girls it takes to change a light bulb, but I guarantee we`d post pictures of us doing it on Facebook.
Doctor: How is your headache? Me: She is fine.
I was feeling down...then all of a sudden I felt myself up. Win, win situation! ;)
If you catch me in the morning in a yoga position... more than likely I passed out drunk that way.
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
I have a bad habit of laughing at inappropriate moments.
I just stepped on a cornfkake does that make me a cereal killer ?
There’s nothing like having a long to-do list to make me feel like doing absolutely nothing.
I don`t even think it`s possible for a bear to cook porridge.
Ladies and Gentleman, I`ve traveled a long way, crossed many bridges, fought my way through countless obstacles, all to bring you this one sad truth about life. There`s never enough beer.
That awkward moment when the guy who discovered milk had to explain what he was doing to the cow.
Sometimes when my phones at 5% battery life I call back all the people I didn`t want to talk too.
You know it`s a classy establishment when they quietly ask you to leave.
I drive safer when there`s food on my passenger seat than when there`s a person sitting there.
going to mcdonalds for a salad is like going to a brothel for a hug