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We´re responsible for most of what happens to us, the rest is probably Voodoo.
Never judge a man ’till you’ve driven a mile with his wife.
Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.
The guy who invented wet t-shirt contests probably has no idea that shirts can just be taken off.
Lazy Rule 47: If you spill water, it will eventually dry.
I think there are great benefits in remaining strangers.
My idiot future husband is out there somewhere pushing a pull door. I just know it.
"2 weeks with my baby xoxoxo" lol,calm down romeo&juliet.
Why would I dance like nobody`s watching? People need to see this.
If there`s no gravity underwater, why do mermaids need those seashell bra`s?
May your life someday be as awesome as you pretend it is on Facebook.
Well, I’m bored again. Time to open the fridge
People in Detroit call Grand Theft Auto V "Tuesday"
I lifted my hands up in the air and waved them like I just didn`t care.....Ceiling fan: 6 Me: 0
One man’s LOL is another man’s WTF.