Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
There is a big difference between a guy and a girl saying "I went through an entire box of tissues during that movie."
If you borrow my laptop and the volume is at 16% go wash your hands immediately
Last year in college football Alabama beat Arkansas, Tennessee, and Auburn. Those teams coaches all resigned. Any chance of Alabama playing agsinst the White House this year?
A drunk man walks into a bar...but enough about me...
Unless life hands you water and sugar, your lemonade is gonna suck.
I hope all your dreams come true, especially that one where you`re being chased by a giant spider.
If by `the Hamptons` you mean `my pajamas`, then yes, I absolutely weekend in the Hamptons
Was wondering...when you have a mandatory meeting at work, why do the presenters always thank you for being there?
I’m pretty good at keeping my sh!t together. Until there’s a bee around.
My boyfriend woke up this morning with a huge smile on his face. I love sharpies
After a year in therapy my psychiatrist said to me " maybe life isn`t for everyone"
Watching these gymnasts doing the balance beam is making me feel really bad about almost missing the couch.
No matter how many gross facts you tell me about McDonald’s I’m still gonna eat it.
I like to read magazines about parenting. That way, I can learn all the things my parents did wrong and I can go back to them and say "See? This is the reason I am like I am."
A homeless man just asked me if I was having a bad hair day, so I took my dollar back.