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It`s Monday. I`m refreshed and ready to hate my Job
Must be my day for Mis-Advertizing --- I just ate a Bowl of Cheerios ----- and they DIDN`T make me Happy!!!! FML!!! :-P
It`s cute how my wife thinks I can read her mind when I can`t even dress the kids properly.
A lot of people do not realize that the actor who played Wilson in Castaway is the same actor from the volleyball scene in Top Gun.
Lets not get carried away it`s not like McDonalds shutdown
How is it that I always seem to buy the plants without the will to live?
Too bored to do nothing. Too lazy to do anything.
Guess what I saw today? Everything I looked at.
I live in constant fear that someone will kidnap my mother in law who lives all alone at 48 W Main St, bldg C, Apt 32 on the 3rd floor.
All the good ones are either taken or imaginary.
Sarcasm is funnier when used on people who don`t understand it.
I`m that friend that you have to explain to people before you introduce me and apologize about afterwards.
Absolutely is my favourite nothing to do...
Should hallways in mental institutes be called psycho-paths?
Don`t tell me to make myself at home if you don`t want me to drop my pants and download porn on your computer.