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Two interesting facts for you: 1) Some pine cones look like poop. 2) I`m never kicking anything wearing flip flops again.
Cop: This is a ticket for drunk and disorderly behavior. Me: Can I have another? I`d like to bring a guest.
Grab the bull by the horns. The other end is too gross...
Just googled "who gives a sh!t?" My name wasn`t in the search results.
Apparently "Fat Tuesday" doesn´t constitue telling fatties they´re fatties.
My neck, my back, my Netflix and my snacks.
It`s just a matter of time before they add the word "Syndrome" after my last name...
Before you judge me, know that I don`t give a crap. Ok, go ahead.
Today in my local cemetery I came across the grave of Arthur Wynne the inventor of the crossword puzzle. For those that want to know where he is buried it`s 6 down and 4 across.
That awkward moment when you’re laughing so hard, you accidentally hit your head on something..
The color 9 is my favorite letter.
I have a friend with one eye, he`s pretty cool about it, instead of :D he sends .D
Every photo taken inside my house has at least one laundry basket in the background.
I’m off for a quiet beer. Followed by fourteen noisy ones.
Years of education, solving tough problems, handling complex issues, yet we take a while standing before glass doors thinking whether to Push or Pull.