Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Life is beautiful ...... but Monday`s suck all the way around.
I shook the vending machine until my chips fell, so yeah, Iām a hunter-gatherer.
Waiting to see how long it takes this police sketch artist to realize I`m describing him.
Just realized the laundry detergent has been in the refrigerator for 3 days, in case you`re looking for a business manager.
I changed the audio of my GPS to a man`s voice. Now it just says "It`s around here somewhere. Keep driving for a little while."
If advertisers were smart, they`d make a silent, slow-motion commercial that runs at normal speed when you fast forward through it on a DVR.
Life should be more like hockey. When someone pisses you off, you just beat the sh!t out of them then sit in a penalty box for 5 minutes.
The awkward moment when you have 10 tabs open and cannot figure out which one the music is coming from.
Are you one of those people that get hurt from things posted on Facebook? You can easily avoid that by keeping your a$$ off of Facebook.
If Violets were Orange, poetry would be a lot more challenging.
"People should just mind their own business," probably the funniest thing I`ve ever read on a social networking site.
Me and the gummy bears have a plot to rule the world but shhhhh its a secret.
Why does it have to be bacon OR sausage?
you know you have a kid personality when you think step brothers is the greatest movie ever.
Next time I`m on an elevator with four or more strangers, I`m going to turn around and say, "I`m sure you`re wondering why I`ve gathered you all here."