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Some days are just not meant to be productive.
Two girls riding their bikes on a cobble stone road. 1st girl: I never came this way before. 2nd girl: Me neither. It must be the cobble stones.
The other day someone told me I could make ice cubes out of leftover wine. I was confused... What is leftover wine?
Hell hath no fury like me when Iām slightly inconvenienced and hungry.
The best way to scare a man is to use the urinal stall next to him. This works exceptionally well if you are a woman.
Facebook prank #23 Go in everynight and change your birthday to the next day...then see how long it takes for people to catch on....
This status is mine....I licked it.
When you get angry at someone count out loud to ten. When you get to eight, throw a punch. Nobody expects that sh!t.
You know it`s gonna be a sh!tty day when you put your bra on backwords and it fits better.
I woke up with a headache this morning but she went to work.
I always thought a chickpea was just when girls go to the bathroom in groups.
50 notifications later I regret ever commenting on your status.
After four centuries, the semicolon has finally achieved it`s true calling: helping people wink online.
Side boob is only hot on women, bro.
My favorite holiday spirit is poured over ice.