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Boobs are a lot like train sets, they were meant for kids, but dad always ends up wanting to play with them.
Snoring is just God`s way of ensuring women hate their husbands while they sleep too.
I`ve been having really bad headaches lately. The doctor said they were all in my head.
I try not to be rude, but some people make it hard work.
What Meatloaf wouldn`t do for love I would probably do for a six pack.
A reality show where a couple wins $10 million dollars if they show nobody a picture of their baby for the first 2 years.
I just ended a 5 year relationship. Luckily it wasn`t mine.
Holding my breath until someone likes this status.
It`s the little things in life that matter the most... for instance the refrigerator light, helping you to see that last beer way in the back!
If I had to describe myself with one word it would be "Doesn`t understand directions".
National no bra day wasn`t as successful as the creators had hoped. due to sagging attendants and lack of support.
If a$$holes could fly, this place would be an airport
All I need to know about you is defined by whether you ask for a cup or a cone when ordering ice cream.
When non-smokers come to My house....I ask them to stand outside while I have a smoke
I`m starting to think that adult supervision is a myth. In fact, my eyes seem to be getting worse.