Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Almost time for my nightly foursome......... Me, my bed, my pillow and my blanket! What the hell were YOU thinkin` you perv!!!!!!
Some call it alcoholism, I call it "keeping my emotions hydrated"
I know it’s 3 meals a day, but how many should I eat at night?
This hangover feels like Quentin Tarantino directed it.
I’ve thought long and hard, and have decided on my New Year’s resolution ... 1024×768.
One should love animals.. They are so tasty.
Just pour the coffee and back away slowly.
This girl next to me in class has a piece of tape over her laptop webcam. This can only mean she’s made some serious mistakes in her past…
Sometimes entire relationships can only be described as "that weird thing I did for a while."
I hate it when my fat makes me look fat.
Alcohol: Because no good story starts with “So this one time I was eating a salad….”
Woke up to my teen cleaning the house for "no reason" and now I have a mystery to solve.
is clapping his hands and stomping his feet because he is happy and he knows it.
If at first you don`t succeed, find out where she lives.
Just once, I would like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear... "Monday has been canceled, go back to sleep."