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What do people mean when they say the computer went down on them?
We can`t deny our basic human instincts, like automatically thinking we kind of already know how to play the harmonica whenever we hold one.
He turned to her, ran his hand up her thigh, across her belly and down her legs. When he turned back to watch TV, she asked "Why stop?" "I found the remote!" he replied.
The average person farts 14 times a day. Finally, I`m above average at something!
Forecast for today: Unproductive with a chance of a late drinking session.
200 pictures of you at the bar and 2 pictures with your kids. You must be quite the mom.
whoo hoo...I have new gutters. Please try and keep your mind out of them.
Anyone notice the irony behind “hyphenated” and “non-hyphenated”?
Wait, carjacking doesn`t mean masturbating in my vehicle? Then no, I didn`t get arrested for carjacking.
Remember when everyone died before gluten-free bread?
Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work and driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for — in order to get to the job you need to pay for the clothes and the car, and the house you leave vacant all day so you can afford to live in it.
I don’t know why you put your boat in Sh!t Creek to begin with.
So you have 820 friends on Facebook and yet no one was around to take your picture when you decided to use the mirror for a good shot?
Ugh... Seriously? If I get ONE more sexual advance on facebook, that will be.. like... a first.
Why can`t things be simple like they use to be? I show you a bug I found, we share a snack pack, and then you`re my girlfriend.