Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Tire rotation? Nice try, mechanic! I rotated my tires like a thousand times on the drive over here.
"You`re better than that" is almost never true
Sorry I`m late, I was waiving my hands at a paper towel dispenser that turned out to not be automatic.
If there`s one thing I`ve learned hiking, it`s the early bird gets the face full of spider webs
One day we the women will rap the men lets see how they like it!
Maybelline claims to make eyelashes appear three times longer…..I think they should start making condoms.
I’m in no shape to exercise.
Fashion is what you call hideous clothes that are really expensive
Back in my day it was called daydreaming…not ADHD.
I failed my driver`s test. For the question "What do you do at a Red Light?" I said "Text and check Facebook."
My number was 0...
Patiently waiting for the Prozac to kick in so I can start my day....Ok, Maybe NOT patiently!
Our parents did the same sh!t too, they`re just liars.
The weather is so nice. I think I’ll go outside and watch other people run.
Still have not used all the free hours from my AOL start up disk