Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Doing nothing is very hard to do, you never know when your finished.
I`m trying to live healthier......but I`m considering taking up cigars, since they`re still the coolest way to light dynamite fuses.
My wife and I toss a coin to settle arguments; heads she wins, tails I apologise.
Apparently sleeping your way to the top doesn`t mean dozing off in meetings or taking naps in the copier room.
Person: You`re blocking the view. Me: B!tch, I am the view!
Life is so much funnier if you have a dirty mind
I´m a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I am perfect!
Would stiff nipples be a good name for my air conditioning company?
(Apocalyptic world) "Well guys......there goes our last female"
I’m thinking of leaving my body to science. Even scientists need a good laugh now and then.
They say that alcohol kills slowly. So what! Who wants to be in a hurry?!?
I`m single by choice. Just not my choice.
Rabbits jump & they live for 8 yrs. Dogs run & they live for 15 yrs. Turtles don`t do anything & they live for 150 years. LESSON LEARNED!
When I die I want someone to play that little death jingle from Mario Bros at my funeral.
the only way I know something is bad for me is if I like it