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I used to be able to stay out much later than this. I find I just can’t these days. My phone battery just doesn’t have the stamina any more.
"Fidget Spinners are so dumb pointless." -The generation that purchased over 5 million Pet Rocks.
I was feeling down...then all of a sudden I felt myself up. Win, win situation! ;)
Wow! Sit-Downs are way easier than Sit-Ups!
Please don`t post pictures of cats on my FB wall. I am allergic.
This week’s weather forecast: Sweaty underboobs.
When I think of you I touch myself ... On my temples ... You give me a migraine.
With all the technology available now, you’d think they’d have found a way to grow apples without those little stickers.
My favorite drinking game is drinking.
What is an Amish girls favourite fantasy? Two Mennonite
For men who think.."A women`s place is in the kitchen," Just remember, that`s where the Knives are kept!
I don’t love being single but I do love being happy.
Cleavage is something you can look down on and approve of at the same time.
Accidentally ran over my neighbor’s cat today and I was scared to tell him to his face so I left a note saying “Curiosity was here”
Not every flower can say love, but a rose did. Not every plant can survive thirst, but a cactus did. Not every dummy can read, but look at you go...... *high 5*