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Happy Labor Day to someone who barely labored this year.
Hit me with your pet shark #RuinAn80sSong
Have you ever noticed the irony behind “hyphenated” and “non-hyphenated”?
Ever had one of those days that you feel like you should have skipped the morning coffee and went straight for the booze?
I swear... my remote just decides to take random vacations sometimes.
My mission is to be the first person on Facbook to have one million people on their block list. . .
No way I’m the only one who crosses their fingers, closes their eyes & holds their breath when checking their account balance.
My theory: Every squirrel you see is currently on a dare from another squirrel
Cigarettes have warning labels because they are dangerous and addictive yet vaginas are allowed to just roam around freely.
This bar doesn’t know it yet, but it’s about to be karaoke night.
It`s gonna be hotter than Billy Ray Cyrus after watching his daughters performance on the VMA`s tomorrow!
Marriage. Because your sh*tty day doesn`t have to end at work
They ordered two extra large pizzas at work. I wonder what everyone else is going to eat.
I paid My 11 year old $10 to do the dishes, then on her way to the bathroom I mugged her...because, you know, life lesson.
I`d say that most of my mistakes can be traced back to when I decided to get out of bed. ... just sayin! ;)