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When I die I want my body donated to science; specifically a scientist who is working on bringing dead people back to life
Congratulations! I`ve finally snapped, and you`re first on my list!
Pool party at my house, bring ur own pool..
I was told that exercise helps with your decision making. It’s true. After going to the gym earlier I’ve decided I’m never going again.
Is somebody not editing what I´m saying here???
Hey I just met you, and this is crazy. But add me on Facebook and I`ll stalk you (maybe)
If you`re stuck in the wild, rub two mozzarella sticks together to start a pizza.
Just once I want someone to make a movie that’s sideways on the screen so I can watch it laying down without getting a kink in my neck.
Went shopping alone and the cashier asked, "How are you guys doing?" Now I`m 90% sure he can see ghosts and one is following me around.
80% of my status updates are BS, 15% are bologna and 5% are 100% straight from the heart.
My dream job would be the Karma delivery service.
I just want to be famous enough to have a Wikipedia page full of misinformation about me.
I don`t go on Facebook much so Dave, if you`re seeing this, thanks for the invite to your 2007 New Year`s party, hope you had fun dude.
A fine is a tax for doing wrong...and a Tax is a fine for doing well
Not to brag, but I still owe Blockbuster $2.00 for not rewinding Weekend at Bernies.