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You know it`s good advice, when your still confused afterwards.
I just let my mind wander, but it didn’t come back yet.
My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She is nine-seven now, and we don`t know where they hell she is.
There’s really no reason to repeat yourself. I ignored you just fine the first time.
A recent survey has shown that 50% of all newlyweds want to try anal sex. Or to put it another way, 100% of grooms.
I want it all and I want it delivered.
I bet every guy would be faithful if God took an inch off his d!ck every time he cheated...
He who laughs first, must be connected to wi-fi.
On the bright side, my coffee will never get cold in hell.
My wife treats me like a God…She takes very little notice of my existence until she wants something.
Saying a prayer for all the turkeys today. Also the single people with concerned relatives.
I used to think paramedics were ghost doctors.
Maybe don`t show me a picture if you don`t want me to rate your baby.
Just saw a coyote next to the highway... I hope this tunnel ahead isn`t just painted on.
My misery likes tequila, not company.