Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
So, basically Alexa is just some know-it-all with no actual job skills.
Whenever I see a hot girl on the streets I`m like HOLY CRAP I`M OUTSIDE.
I`ve heard of women that aren`t crazy ... but I`ve also heard of unicorns, so whatever...
With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine.
What`s worse to have stuck in your head; a knife or All About That Bass?
I started to compliment my neighbors on their new wallpaper but then I realized they can`t hear me through binoculars.
I just bought all six seasons of Hoarders on DVD
$10 says some idiot is gonna hear the word Ebola and think "that`d be a great name for my new baby!"
Is it sexual harasment to say ho ho ho to a female coworker?
Still haven`t cashed in my winning megamillions ticket...scared the $6 will make my friends treat me different.
I have a black belt in leather
The Braille on the drive-thru ATM actually says, "Move to the passenger seat"
Buying my wife a matching belt and bag for her birthday. We`ll have that vacuum cleaner working in no time.
Idiots are fun, no wonder every village has one.
None of us have it as bad as the porcupine giving birth to another porcupine.