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A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
If a man speaks at sea where no women can hear, is he still wrong?
Got a cat the other day. Had to swerve to get it, but I got it!
Accidentally missed the freeway exit for home, now I’m heading north to start a new life.
If you think your wife has a great sense of humor, try leaving a trail of rose petals leading to a sink full of dirty dishes. Not the best idea a man ever had ;)
Just once I wanna see a pregnancy test commercial where the female is like, "Aww, f**k..."
Think of a number between 0 and 20. Add 40 to it. Multiply by 2. Subtract 3. Now close your eyes.... It`s dark isn`t it.
I`m convinced that homeless people have all the shopping carts with 4 good wheels.
Think about how much more stressful life’s most stressful moments would be if accompanied by the running-out-of-time music in Mario Bros.
I hate when homesless people shake their cup of coins at me. It`s like yeah I know you have more money than me, no need to rub it in.
I Hope I can make it through another season of disagreement over the pronunciation of pecan.
My wife just bought a $50 bottle of shampoo. So guys, party at my house this weekend because apparently we won the Lottery!!!
Soon ovens will come with webcams and wireless connections so that posting photos of your dinner will be even easier.
The awkward moment when you realise you’re wrong in an argument, but you keep arguing anyway.
Does this floor I’m laying on make me look unmotivated?