Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
(For women only) Wants to go on the Maury Povich show and hear, "You are NOT the mother!"
Science is just a numbery way to explain magic.
If someone says you used too much butter or cheese on something, stop talking to them. You don`t need that kind of negativity
If you blow out the kid`s Birthday candles at enough parties, people will just stop inviting you to them.
I love my friends unconditionally.* *Certain terms and conditions may apply. May not be available on all days. Coverage not available in all locations.Offer good for 30 days.Requires two-year minimum agreement. Fees applied for activation and early termination.
RUN? I thought you said Rum. I quit.
7,000 people were treated in emergency rooms for injuries sustained from fireworks. Don’t be a statistic, let your friend light the fuse
Ice cream is clearly God`s way of telling us he likes us a little bit chubby.
Wife fell asleep on the couch so I drew a spider on her glasses with dry erase marker. And now we wait...
I`ve been single so long now I don`t remember what it`s like for someone to be mad at me for something I didn`t even know it did!
Why do guys cheat on pretty girls with ugly ones...?
Lets watch a reality show about nasty rednecks acting like rednecks, but get mad when one of them says something a redneck would say
I like confusing kids by telling them I`m older than the internet
Letting my dad play Angry Birds on my iPad is like showing a caveman fire.
Of course I like you, I gave you that roofie didn`t I?