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Memories of you make me look forward to alzheimers.
Maybe vodka is addicted to me
There`s no point in using a big word, when an infinitesimally diminutive one will do.
Me: Dad, going to the 50cents concert. Dad: Here`s a dollar, take your sister with you.
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
If you say "cash money" around me, Don`t act surprised when I kick you in the "balls nuts" See how stupid that sounds?
You’re really not as bad as people say. You’re much, much worse.
Me: You’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen. Her: You just want to have sex with me. Me: And you’re smart too, I like that.
Never run after a man or a bus, there is always another one coming.
Hash browns not tags.
When asked how I take my coffee, I reply with, "Seriously. Very seriously."
That prince in Sleeping Beauty doesn`t get enough credit for kissing someone who hadn`t brushed her teeth in forever.
I had a wet dream about you last night. Yeah, I was drowning you in a lake.
I guess if you spoke your mind, you´d be speechless, huh?
My IQ? ... With google or without?