Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Men, remember to re-stock the spiders this weekend so she remembers why she keeps you around.
Drunk me loves creating awkward encounters for sober me.
If you say married people aren’t having sex, you have obviously never sat in a hotel bar & watched them pick up strangers.
I swear, watching people at a 4-way stop sign is like watching `Night at the Roxbury.` "Him? Me? Oh Me? Me or Him?"
Let`s be honest, we all have someone on Facebook we wanna bang...with a pan.
I just replaced the can of air freshener in the office bathroom with an air horn. And now we wait...
Timehop... reminding us that the stupid people we know today were just as stupid 5 years ago.
How long have I been working here? ... Ever since they threatened to fire me.
I`m not sayin you are stupid, I just said that you have bad luck when you`re thinking.
I don`t understand interventions. What`s the point of being told I drink too much by a room full of reasons why I drink in the first place?
The ideal man doesn`t smoke, doesn`t drink, doesn`t do drugs, doesn`t swear, doesn`t get angry, doesn`t exist
The skeletons in your closet are suggesting that you upgrade to a double wide, walk-in.
I watched my first porn movie today. I looked so much younger back then...
There is no logical reason why short pants should cost the same as long pants.
Admit it, you`ve answered Dora at least once in your life.