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Before the internet I used to like people.
Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth
It saddens me to think that I`ll never be able to watch my own a$$ as I walk away :(
My medical ID bracelet says "just let it happen"
Just because they sell yoga pants in XXL doesn`t mean it`s ok to wear them in public.
The problem is I have just enough money to get into trouble but not enough to make bail.
Sometimes I spend whole meetings wondering how they got the big meeting table through the door.
I would run a marathon. If the only 2 bars were 26.2 miles apart and the first one was closed.
Marriage is a wonderful institution... but who wants to live in an institution?
I`m a firm believer that if something takes 10 minutes to cook on 200 degrees then it should only take 5 minutes to cook on 400 degrees
Why is there a show called "When animals attack"? It should be called "When stupid people go near dangerous animals."
It`s really difficult to find what you want on eBay. I was searching for cigarette lighters and found over 15,000 matches...
I just watched Back to the Future Part II and not once did I see a person walking around staring at their smartphone.
If you fall, I`ll be there - Floor
How long does it take to get obsessed?