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You can make your life more entertaining by simply reaching out, and getting to know a whore.
The average person farts 14 times a day. Finally, I`m above average at something!!
You millennials and your obsession with public healthcare. Back in my day we just died
It’s 2013, why does good food still have calories.
If a man says something in the woods.. And there are no women there.. Is he still wrong? O_o
I think about hiring a maid way too often for someone who has plenty of time to clean.
Much like a dog, men will pretty much do anything you want if you feed them first.
The Internet: 1% information 1% jokes 98% outrage over information and jokes
Any guy can seem cool on a motorcycle. If you really want to know what kind of man you`ve got, watch him walk through a spider web.
I was wondering why my doctor gave me LSD for my constipation, then I saw a dragon and crapped myself.
In about 20 years, that cherry tattoo on your cleavage is gonna look like a pair of raisins and that butterfly you got tatted on back is gonna look like a moth.
I think my “check engine” light has finally burned out. So that’s good.
I love the gym this time of year. The newbies make me look like a Victoria Secret model.
Gaining weight while you owe me money is a sign of disrespect.
I smile because your my daughter. I laugh because there`s nothing you can do about it. ;)