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Have you ever tried blind-folded archery? You don`t know what you`re missing.
I`m bringing sexy back...if I only I can remember where I had it last....
Life is not fair. But life is not fair for everyone, which actually makes it fair.
Thanks, resealable packaging, but I think we both know that won`t be necessary.
I`m having trouble telling if it`s killing me or making me stronger
Tonight`s weather forecast: dark. Continued dark overnight with widely scattered of light by morning.
I thought I was feeling a little bloated today, turns out I had my underwear on backwards.
My grandparents still use encyclopedias to google stuff.
I feel bad for lions at zoos. How would you feel if a bunch of pizzas came to your house, took your picture, and you couldn’t even eat them?
The more I get to know you, the more I`m convinced that you are the sole inspiration behind many medications.
I don`t have a drinking problem, you have a problem with my drinking. Big difference.
I can eat a piece of pie without a plate or a fork what else should I write on this dating site profile?
I’m back on my feet again!! Wait, false alarm the remote is right here.
I`ve done it in the bathroom, I`ve done it in the bedroom, I`ve done it in the kitchen, on the couch, outside, in the bus, yoo I just can`t seem to stop this texting.:)
Being a parent means often saying your child is shy rather than "he sees how creepy u are, that`s why he doesn`t want to shake your hand".