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Honesty is the best policy, unless you`re trying to return something that you`ve already worn.
One good thing about being ugly is that when someone stares at you for too long you automatically know they wanna rob you.
Feeling bored? Go to a clothing store and put "one size fits all" stickers on the bras.
Whenever I see people doing sign language, I assume they are discussing the best way to murder the rest of us and steal our ears.
Surly not EVERYBODY was Kung-Foo fighting?
Happy third birthday to the tartar sauce in my fridge.
My mind says diet, but my stomach is all SHUT UP BITCH.
Golf, except there`s no balls or clubs or anything, and you just drive around in a cart and drink.
often rambles on and on about this and that seeming to be heading towards a point but really just blabbing about nothing.
Sarcasm: just one of the many services I offer ;)
At the end of the day, life should ask us, Do you want to save the changes?
Why do people ask "What were you thinking?" Obviouly, I thought I was going to get away with it!
I would never survive a real job because I dont like being told when I can eat lunch...
Typical: you have nothing to wear for a party and suddenly the rabbits, the birds and the mice begin to sew you a dress
People say 60 is the new 40 but the cop who just pulled me over doesn`t agree.