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Oh no! I have to enter my date of birth to view this explicit content! Damn this internet security!
I`m not sure if I actually have free time or there are things I`m forgetting to do.
According to my neighbor’s journal, I have boundary issues.
I`m only a morning person on December 25th
If I was a Jedi there is a 100% chance that I would use the Force inappropriately.
My son asked me to explain women to him, so I bought him an XBOX game for his Playstation.
Sneaking alcohol into work is pretty easy, if you put it in your stomach first.
would a fly without wings be called a walk?
If women are so perfect at multitasking, how come they can`t have a headache and sex at the same time?
I`ve got big plans for the weekend. If things go well, come Monday morning I`m gonna need a chiropractor, a psychiatrist, a priest and bail money.
Don`t ask me for childcare advice unless you want nuggets of wisdom like "always punch holes in the box so they can breathe."
Doing some caroling! All by myself. In people`s backyards. In the bushes. Very little singing. Mostly watching.
I`m so in Debt, I could start a Government.
I hate when I`m admiring my good looks from a car`s window reflection and the people inside think I`m staring at them.