Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Just once when they interview a serial killer’s neighbor I’d like to hear them say “Yeah, that doesn’t surprise me, he was a real Weirdo”
At any given time, my wallet is worth more than it’s contents.
Relationship status: Runs alone at night in hopes of being abducted.
If you`re going take a bathroom picture, at least clean it off. I can`t see anything through all the toothpaste.
People with jobs: It`s Friday!!! People without jobs: It`s Friday?
Whenever you`re feeling really bad about yourself just remember, there`s people that pay money to exercise.
Before you judge me, know that I don`t give a crap. Ok, go ahead.
Here’s the thing about work: I really don’t feel like doing any.
How does anything ever get done at the bubble wrap factory?
I think New York has reached the point where it can finally be called York.
That horrible moment when the TV commercials are so long that you forget what you’re watching…
I`d like to have a child one day ... Two days, tops.
My sister borrowed my favorite shirt without asking again, so I changed her Facebook profile picture to a positive Clearblue pregnancy test.
The more I know, the more I forget! The more I forget the less I know! The less I know, the less I forget! The less I forget, the more I know!!!
A cute thing I tell my kids when we see a dead deer on the side of the road is, "Looks like Santa lost his temper again."