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Girls become instant best friends when they find out they hate the same people.
Collecting my thoughts… I almost have a whole set! ;)
Turkish ruler Erdogan was at the White House this week. Sources say he arrived very early so he could beat the crowd.
169 is still a sex position, but with a creepy guy watching.
So much for the saying, 3rd times a charm, I just checked my Mega Millions ticket for the 3rd time, and still nothing.
Stalking is such a strong word. I perfer the term surveillance expert.
its not the up`s and down`s that bring you down...its the jerks!!
loosing weight tip: turn your head to the left then to the right. Do this everytime you are offered food.
Having a bad day? Imagine a T-Rex trying to masturbate. you`re welcome.
my stomach just growled and it sounded like it said... `Droid`....
wants to jump in a cab and yell "follow that car!"
Onion rings are vegetables. And the Large size counts as two servings.
Women, we don`t say this enough, but thank you...Thank you for not killing us in our sleep. Sincerely, Men.
Having a pen!s is like having a friend that always wants to play.
People always say, "You can`t have your cake and eat it too." I say, "Of course you can. Just make two cakes!"