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At the end of the day, it`s 11:59pm.
Anyone know when Facebook is sending us our W-2`s?
I know that no means no, but that`s about the extent of my Spanish.
I just lifted a couch to retrieve a Skittle that fell underneath it, so I get you Moms that lift cars to rescue children, I get you.
Laughter is the best medicine (that my insurance is willing to cover)
So Monday and Tuesday sucked. But, with the right mix of caffeine, alcohol and mushrooms, Wednesday doesn´t even have to happen at all.
I`m old enough to remember when apparently the worst thing life could hand you was lemons.
Ladies, Admit it. Sometimes you look down at your own boobs and think "Wow, these are Awesome!"
My mother always used to think that my friends were bad influences. ..I wonder if she`s figured out yet that I was the one coming up with all the ideas? ;)
Someone offered me grapes, but I declined. I`m not used to consuming wine in pill form.
Today was about as much fun as a warm toilet seat in a public restroom!
Even if women came with an instructions manual men still wouldn`t read it.
I dont hate you but, if you put `just about to jump off a cliff` as your facebook statuses i would poke you
Sex, drugs and candy crush all have one thing in common. It`s only an addiction if you start paying for it.
Calling out your ex`s name during sex is a nice way to show your current lover that you won`t forget them after you break up.