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McDonald`s should have a 3rd window, where you can trade in all the wrong sh!t they gave you at the second window.
I like to friend friends of friends then unfriend the first friend to freak out the friend of a friend.
I advise you...don`t mess with me, I know karate, kung fu,judo, tae kwon do, jujitsu, and 28 other dangerous words.
Accidentally used AOL.com, I betting the employees there are celebrating and think they have a sure future.
Next time a skinny bitch calls herself fat… I’m gonna agree with her.
My number one rule to live by is: Don’t die.
This earthquake was the first time that I`ve ever said, "it was 4.7, but felt bigger."
I used to care what you thought of me, then I remembered what I thought of you.
One great thing about life before the internet was if you met someone, you didn`t then have to know them the rest of your life.
I`d be super embarrassed if people saw my google history but only because its all words I should really know how to spell by now
I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. It was way too literal for me.
The problem in general terms is that people suck.
There are 2 kinds of coworkers. The ones who keep iPhone 5 chargers at their desks and the ones whose names I don`t know.
Better to be incredibly weird than incredibly boring.
I bet the women who only post about sex are probably some of the nicest men you’ll ever meet in person.